Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

thumb_up thumb_down -24

that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do u call a black men standing on top of a church. holy shit

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops