Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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24

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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well use a tissue!

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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no rasist joks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops