Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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what did mickee utley say to micheal bane cnb

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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