"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

What's 1+1? 69.

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII KATE WAS HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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