How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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