What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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