Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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