Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops