why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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