Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you call someone? use a phone

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

thumb_up thumb_down -8

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops