a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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your mom.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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