What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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