Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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