If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

Robin, get in the car!

Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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