Hello

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops