A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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