Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I haven't left my basement in 29 years

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops