A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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knock knock who's there? hope

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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