y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops