- Anti Joke

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

poo

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops