What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

Ben Corbishley

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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