How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Justin Bieber.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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