Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops