A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Is Yered a dumbass? YA

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Get up Look in the mirror

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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a

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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