A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Tucker Rivera

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops