Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"Knock knock" Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mama's so stupid that i wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me that she didn't graduate high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a gay guy? kevin

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops