why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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The global news

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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