A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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No it doesnt..

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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Why was the little boy speechless? His best friend was just run over by a plow truck.

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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