What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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8=>

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Hahahahahhaha...................................black people

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops