Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

Carlton

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

What's red and silly? A blood clot

What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

Robin, get into the Batmobile.

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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