How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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