Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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pudding

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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