A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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One time i was sitting down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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