- Anti Joke

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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