Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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