How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's better than doing the Hannah Montana's hoedown-throwdown? Throwin' that ho down.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

ewrg

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops