The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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I'm homeless.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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