Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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