What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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good looking women

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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your so fat. your fat!

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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