What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops