Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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