Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops