What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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your mom is so ugly, when she throws a boomerang it doesn't come back

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12/23/2012

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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