Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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call me maybe.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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