what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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what did the little boy get for christmas? A BIKE!

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- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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Title IX

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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