What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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What do you call a black man on the moon - A Problem What do you call 5 black men on the moon - A Bigger Problem What do you call every black person on the moon - Problem Solved!

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Women's Soccer.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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