your mom gave me head.....phones

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What's the connection between Obama and Michael Jackson? They both want to be a girl.

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Atheism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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