Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Gay rights.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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