What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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were you expecting a joke

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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