What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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