How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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