Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

your so fat. your fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops