SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man, John, is talking amongst a group of friends. He tells a racist joke and sees that one of his colored friends, Mark, is laughing at his joke, but John can tell that Mark's offended. John later apologizes to his friend because that is the right thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

thumb_up thumb_down -7

1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Neil is a reterd.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

.der era sesoR .eulb era steloiV .sdrawkcab nettirw saw ecnetnes sihT .yrgnuh m'I won dnA

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What can a black man do that a llama can't? A: Walk

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops