why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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