How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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This site is hilarious oh wait...

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops