Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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What's the new green? Green

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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This is not a joke.

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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WNBA

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops