Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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